I am a dog of simple means. I enjoy lounging on my yard and taking in the scenic neighborhood. I only need belly rubs 20 times a day. I can help myself to food, especially if it isn’t my food. I have few worldly possessions but of those that I do have, Boo Bear and Monkey are my most prized. Both Boo Bear and Monkey make fun noises when squeezed and despite their lack of structural integrity for strong chewers like myself, both are intact stuffed animals.
Kita found Boo Bear and promptly sat down with him, licking him on the ear like I do, then biting his middle to make him squeak like I do, and then even quizzically looking at him after he unexpectedly squeaked like I do. It was all too much. How could she? How could Boo Bear? I did the only thing I could think of and ran towards her as fast as three of my legs could carry me, and then swung my cone at her face, knocking Boo Bear away from her. I then told her that, in no uncertain terms, was she to go near my Boo. I let her know loudly so she couldn’t ignore me and so that, under the Bone Protocol, all area canines have been alerted to the audible claim of the item. In that moment, the cone and I became one and I knew my training had led me to this – canine and cone, force for justice.
Then, I remembered that Monkey was across the room so I ran after Monkey and quickly brought her over to where Boo Bear was. Then, in a slightly quieter tone, I let Kita know that Monkey was also mine. Kita got the message and went somewhere with Mom.
I have my Boo Bear and my Monkey and Kita can’t take them and now that she’s not in the living room with me, I also have the whole dog bed area to myself. And I can’t get to my Boo Bear or my Monkey with my paws and my mouth at the same time.
I’ll just scoop them up into my cone. And then I’ll sit here with my toys by myself.
All by myself.
Wait, I don’t want to be alone.
Mom? MOM? MOOOOOOOM?
I get where Mozzie is coming from; I had a security blanket, too. I don’t remember ever beating up my siblings over it though.
After his growling and barking fit, I brought Kita upstairs to my office to hang out with me while Mozzie got his toys and was ignored for bad behavior. Luckily, no cats were involved in the making of the drama (yay, no pee to clean!) as they were busy eating breakfast.
If he thinks he can talk like that to Kita, who is a guest in this house, he has another thing coming. We taught him better manners than that.